For a decade I have supported people through organisational transformation without, I realise, really understanding the depth of the emotional impact on them. Until now!
Recently, I found myself both agent (as a change consultant) and victim of change. A humbling experience! One that had me running to my bag of self-help tricks for a fix. But only after I had wobbled. And only after I had had the courage to admit to myself, “Hell I feel really bad. In fact I think I might be a little depressed!”
How can she do it! How on earth can Teresa May lead the UK through Brexit, without trust?
We’re talking here about a radical transformation that impacts peoples’ rights, businesses, social care, education, the economy and democracy. Some will win. Many stand to lose. In the midst of this uncertainty, how can Teresa May encourage the nation to follow her? With her trust ratings at rock bottom during this year’s elections and senior Tories doubting her leadership as negotiations get underway, is it even possible?
When everything is kicking off in the office and you feel like you are in the firing line, how do you respond? Are you tempted to put your head in the sand and hope that it will go away? Or do you get caught up in the drama, riding in like a knight in shining armour ready to defend yourself or save the day?
In a recent discussion on leading with trust, I was asked, “How can we let go of beliefs about others?" For a split second I was confused. Then it dawned on me. Our beliefs about others are essentially judgments. Our judgments are based on what we see as right and wrong. So what gives us the authority to decide what is right and wrong with others? What would happen if we were more accepting of others?
The 2017 Edelman Trust Barometer report confirmed what most of us already know. Trust is in crisis. Is it any wonder with recent political events, threats of globalisation, erosion of values and complete loss of job security! In this low trust world, why on earth would we want to trust.
When you find yourself recounting intimate details of your dating disasters to a room of relative strangers. And you can still face yourself in the mirror the next day. You know you are beginning to overcome perfectionism.
How do you move through life? Are you open and trusting towards others? Willing to try new things? Do you hold in your heart the knowing that no matter what, things will always work out in the end? Or do you distrust those around you? Avoid sharing your ideas and feelings or trying new things at any cost?
Trust is fundamental to life. Without trust there can be no intimacy. Relationships literally struggle to exist. Partnerships are tainted with the fear of betrayal. Backstabbing, suspicion and competition prevail in the workplace. Organisations and communities suffocate under onerous administration. And countries teeter on the brink of war.
No one would consciously choose this misery over the joyful connection that comes from trusted relationships! So what does it take to be able to trust others?
Trust is essential to relationship success. For it to exist, we must believe that people are trustworthy and we must be willing to trust. The question is, if we have a hard time trusting others, will it matter how sincere, reliable, competent and caring we are? Will they be able to view us as trustworthy?
Have you ever experienced that ‘rabbit in the headlights’ thing? You know, frozen in fear and confusion. Not quite clear why! Your body tense, adrenaline coursing through your veins, screaming for movement! Your brain frantically searching for what to do. And you just know. If you start to move, you’ll give an excellent impression of a headless chicken. So you stay. Frozen. Trying to fathom out what on earth is going on.
Do you find it effortless to connect with people and yet struggle to develop deeper friendships? Are you frequently disappointed when people don’t live up to your expectations? It could be something that YOU are not doing!